I regard Mother’s Day differently now. Along with giving my heartfelt thanks to my mother and mother-in-law for all they have done and do, I have designated it a day to honor my dream of being a mother. I imagine it is somewhat similar to how you might tenderly regard your wedding anniversary after your dear spouse had died; along with celebrating with gratitude the love and experiences you had together, you would create space for the profound sorrow you felt for no longer having your cherished partner to share your life with you. As I look back, I see My Man and I endured so much to try and become parents before we lost the momentum, energy, and courage to try anymore. The doctor’s appointments, surgeries, IUI’s, IVF’s, shots, medications, pregnancy tests, miscarriages, hope and excitement were a big part of our lives for a such long stretch of time. I imagine some would consider looking at mother’s day this way “feeling sorry for myself”—whatever that means…I see it more as allowing for grief, healing and self compassion. I just know in my bones that if I don’t embrace my lived/felt experience in its entirety, my life takes on a superficial, numb, going-through-the-motions, gray hue, as I become detached from my passion, vitality and exuberance as well.